Tuesday at Cheongster Cafe: No stopping kiasu parents

Apr 26, 2016 11.00AM |

by Felix Cheong

HOW your Ah Girl do for PSLE?

Like that lor. 200 plus. Never study, but still get 200 plus. If study harder, sure can get 300 plus!

Three hundred plus cannot lah! Only Prime Minister can score like that!

Really ah? Luckily we have a Prime Minister with good PSLE result! If not, cannot hold head high. Your Ah Boy how?

Also 200 plus. That one, quite playful. Whole day long want to play drum in school band. At home, also play. Chopsticks, pens, anything also can. Bang, bang, bang! So noisy. I tell him: You play drum, cannot make money. Maybe during Chinese New Year when you play for lion dance.

He can also play in funeral band mah. No need skill. Just dong dong chiang, half hour, then you get big angpao.

Maybe hor! Last month, my block already got six funerals. If one dong dong chiang can earn 100 dollars, then 600 dollars a month. Good money hor!

But 600 dollars not enough to live lah! Must get degree first. No degree, better go sweep floor or clean table at food court.

I hear on news cleaners now also can earn $1,000.

One thousand dollars, you go spa once a week, gone by end of month. That’s why I tell Ah Girl: I want you go to RGS, then to uni. She say she want to go SOTA to learn dance. I say: SOTA, your head! I want to throw sofa at you. She say she want to, what, “pursue passion”. I don’t know why now a day, ‘passion’ so important to young people.

Yah lor! When we younger, we got ‘passion’ or not to be housewife? No, right?

That’s why I tell Ah Girl: ‘Passion’ make no money. Tomorrow, I go market buy you a big basket of passion fruit, throw it downstairs. You go and ‘pursue’ all the passion you want!

Just tell her lor, our Prime Minister never ‘pursue passion’. That’s why can become Prime Minister.


Featured Image by Guet Ghee Pang.

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