Tuesday at Cheongster Cafe: Sound and Fury

May 03, 2016 10.30AM |

by Felix Cheong

SINCE my MP-wannabe says he’s my servant –
And he’s certainly adamant
When he staked out his turf,
Swore he’s all out to serve –

I shall inspect his ‘O’ level cert
For any eugenic defect at birth.
I shall shine a torch into his ear channels
For any evidence of the PSC panel.

I shall feed him my household chores;
Make fleas flee my dog,
Peel potatoes, mope the mop,
Find out where my wife hid my tots.

I shall watch in awe –
After he’s dirtied his overalls –
At a kopitiam across the street,
As his designer broom gently sweeps.

I hope he does not take too long,
This domestic helper on a song.
I hope he does not let his bodyguards
Do the work for a laugh.

For every glass he drops,
He recites the pledge on the hop.
For every speck of dust remains,
He has to sing Majulah again.

I shall check on the work
And tell him what it’s worth.
I shall high-beam him in the eye,
Once he’s straightened up his tie:

“Are you harping and eager
For my vote now and five years later?
Do you still believe you’re my servant
Or is it all PR jargon?”


Featured Image by Guet Ghee Pang.

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