Mummy musings: So, what do you do every day?

May 07, 2016 03.03PM |
 

by Pamelia Tng

SO, WHAT do you do every day?

When I gave up my job seven years ago, I never thought that this would be the question that I would deal with frequently. When people find out that I’m a full-time mum, this is likely the question that would come up. It is very amusing, to say the least.

My husband and I are parents to three kids – two boys who are 11 and 10 respectively and a not-so-little girl who will turn seven this year.

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Pamelia and her three children on holiday in Santorini, Greece. (Image provided by Pamelia.)

I remember the days when we had our two sons in Melbourne. I was working as an account manager and juggling home life with the boys. The husband and I were young then and still so fresh in our careers. We would wake up very early to get the boys ready for daycare before rushing off to work. Thankfully, at that stage of life, we had the luxury of finishing work on time to rush home to be with our boys.

And then we decided it was time to move home. The husband started his business and soon it became apparent that one parent had to be around to look after the kids. (We had baby girl by then.) Life evolved.

Growing up, I never thought I’ll be a stay-at-home mum. On hindsight, yes, it seemed like an incredulous thought but I grew to love it. I’ve always wanted to be a really hands-on parent. It took a while for me to find my “worth” when I stopped drawing an income but then, it slowly became insignificant.

I relished the part where I can be there for them whenever they need me and I can plan their activities on weekdays so that we can have proper family time on the weekends. I love that I have time to cook for them and spend time watching over their homework. I actually have time to watch them grow.

The days are long, sometimes, especially when the kids have separate activities at the same time and I have to split myself into two (or three!). I also can’t have any appointments in the afternoon as I spend my time driving them around.

But, I digress. So, what do I do every day? Well, the husband and I share the school run. Then, we hit the gym or yoga before he heads off to work and I go run my errands before the school pick-ups. Our kids are older now, so they have different schedules. They are busy – as little people are these days.

Thankfully, we always have time to catch up. The children love to regale me with tales of what happened in school, share silly jokes, and just discuss the latest movies that they would like to watch. I watch by the sidelines as they play sports and when my daughter dances. It is a luxury to be able to spend time watching them grow up – one that I am very thankful for.

But there’s more to me than being a mum. There’s also a weekly date night with the husband. Sometimes, we manage to squeeze in a movie. I do floral arrangements for a shop or two. And then, there’s time spent catching up with my friends and volunteering at the kids’ schools.

All these add up to what I do and I really love how multi-faceted it is. It keeps me busy, but it’s also how I enjoy spending different parts of my life.

Full-time mummy-hood is a commitment. It is putting the needs of your kids as a main focus of your life. But, at the same time, it’s important to keep some time for yourself – nothing is more important than a happy mum. Spend time catching up with friends over coffee or just taking time out to exercise. Always have a sense of humour, no matter how bad the day is (because we all know that kids act up!). And remember, you are a team with your husband or partner, so get him to babysit sometimes so you can have some me-time.

If you plan it properly, full-time mummy-hood is very fulfilling.

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Pam is a busy mum of three. She loves a good cup of coffee and time spent with her husband.

This piece is a part of our Mother’s Day series of columns, showcasing the views and experiences of real mums in Singapore. Read Jean’s, Brenda’s and Esther’s piece, and check out our video too.

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Featured image DSC08352 by Flickr user Wunna PhyoeCC BY 2.0. 

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