by Bertha Henson
THE weekend has been full of pre-GE news. We bring you some highlights.
Overheard in a coffee joint…
Pamela Li (stirring her latte): Oooh… did you hear that the Workers’ Party wants to field 28 candidates? That’s five more than last time. I wonder where they’re all coming from… You think they will get another returnee like that hopeless inarticulate Chen Show Mao?
Olive Lo (on her third espresso): The Workers’ Party should get more women! Yay to Sylvia and Li Lian! I wonder if they have Kate Spade going up against Tin Pei Ling in MacPherson. Heeeheeehee.
Pamela (adds more sugar): Don’t be such a b****. She’s apparently quite good on the ground. All the big shots have endorsed her. And she’s pregnant. All the mothers will line up behind her…
Olive Lo (downs her espresso): Aw…come on. It’s awful for the PAP to field her in a single-seat ward when she’s so heavily pregnant! You think she would be able to do all that walking on swollen feet?
Pamela (milky foam on her lips): You talk as if you know what being pregnant is like…Anyway, I just want to see some of those new faces… Ooooooh! I forgot! There’s Darryl David! Oh wow! Cutie pie! Yes! My former poly lecturer and host of the Pyramid show! My mom remembers him!
Olive Lo (sips water): Ya…and pulling on the PM’s coat-tails in Ang Mo Kio…and that loser from Punggol East as well, that Dr Koh Poh Koon! Why doesn’t he go against Li Lian again in Punggol East? I tell you…these PAP men can’t beat the Opposition women!
Pamela (checks her phone): What are you talking about? The PAP fields a lot of women. There’s this Joan Pereira now in Tanjong Pagar GRC. Very nice looking and active with the elderly it seems.
Olive Lo (spitting out coffee): Gimme a break! Another former civil servant…
Pamela (gets wi-fi connection) : Anyway, I think it’s very good that the new PAP candidates have started to come out to be introduced. Not like in the past when their names are like some sort of official secret! New blood! People who identify with the aspirations of the younger generation…that’s what we need! Not like that Seow Khee Leng! Running again! At 75! And which party now? Democratic Progressive Party? Should be regressive party!
Olive Lo (checks phone): Hmmm? What? Aiyah, maybe he wants to show he has stamina. Very brave. I also think it’s very brave of Kenneth Jeyaretnam to take on the PM on his home ground.
Pamela (text messaging): Hmmm…what did you say? You think he can beat PM? The last time, he took only like 30 per cent of the vote or something! And that SDP says it wants to contest Bukit Batok. Because it contested there in the GE before last! What sort of logic is that?
Olive Lo (checking Facebook): SDP? Ya. It said on its Facebook that it’s so odd that Bukit Batok had vanished and then it now re-appears. Kenneth Jeyaretnam should ask for Anson to re-appear. I’m sure he can follow in his late father’s footsteps…
Pamela (takes a selfie): Whatever…Anyway, we will all be voting now. Definitely no walkover! Yay! Did you hear NSP wants to hold talks on Friday with all the opposition parties on which seats to contest? You think Low Thia Kiang will turn up? He sort of fancies himself as the leader of the Opposition, but he isn’t leading. Probably too busy with his malfunctioning town council.
Olive Lo (posting on her timeline): Don’t say things like that about my hero…He’s soooo macho! I’m going to all his rallies to hear him! Actually I wonder why we haven’t heard from Chiam See Tong or his wife? Another wonderful Opposition woman! Yay Lina!
Pamela (shares selfie online): Don’t be so silly. Lina Chiam lost the last time to Sitoh…shows that Potong Pasir has had enough of opposition…Anyway, that DPP guy Ben Pwee is looking at the place too.
Olive Lo (reads tweets): Whatever…so long as it’s still in the opposition. Hey, my hero Low wants to take East Coast and Marine Parade as well apparently! He wants to rule the east! The east is going under the hammer! How do they say it? Huat?
Pamela: (answers personal message): What? Huat? I bet you my Prada bag that he won’t succeed. This is supposed to be a watershed election. First election without LKY. And you know what that means, there will be the LKY dividend…
Olive Lo (thunderstruck): Actually do you think the PAP will give real dividends to win our vote? My credit card bill is overdue.
Pamela: You mean you will vote PAP if it gives out money…?
Olive Lo: Depends how much…By the way, how much do I owe you for the espresso?
Pamela: It’s all right. My treat. I just took my salary from the ATM…
At the next table sits the swing voter. He is unhappy with his coffee which can’t compare with the one in his favorite kopi-tiam. But there wasn’t any coffee shop nearby and he had to make do with this. All these coffee joints and cafes which young people patronize…where do they get the money to pay for such expensive coffee, he wonders. The two young ladies don’t know what it’s like having to raise a family and run a household. Let them enjoy their coffee, he thought as he got up to get ready to pick up his children from school.
Featured image from Flickr user infomastern.
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